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Saturday, May 28, 2016

The Age Of Casual Dating

How To Keep Your Heart From Getting Hurt



It's hard to find a serious relationship in this day and age. Everything is online. Swipe left or right. A text message that says nothing more than "DTF?". It's hard to avoid. I know we've all been there. So you say to yourself, well, let's give this casual dating thing a chance. But how do you prevent getting attached to the person you're seeing casually? Well, there's some criteria in choosing who that person is that's going to be a major help there. Here are some tips for casual dating that will keep your heart from getting hurt.

1. Choose a partner you can't stand.

You may think I'm joking, but I'm being totally serious. There are so many reports on casual dating that suggest going for someone who is sexy but intolerable is one of the best ways to avoid getting attached. Obviously, you want to feel the flame for the person you're choosing. So, you want them to turn you on physically. But you want them to turn you off intellectually. Maybe it's someone obnoxious, or egotistical. Someone who drives you absolutely crazy. Every time they open their mouth you want to rip your hair out or scream. Good. As long as they're good in the bedroom, that's all you really need. When it comes to casual dating: find someone you can never see yourself falling in love with.

2. Make sure to communicate your needs.

Every relationship, regardless of commitment level, requires communicating. You need to talk with your new partner about the boundaries you're both going to have. Whether or not you're going to be exclusive to one another. If you aren't, what are the outside limits? What happens if either of you develop a stronger interest in someone else? Stuff like that. You want to make sure you're going to be on the same page. Make sure you're both *really* looking for something casual. Many people enter a casual relationship with the hope that it will develop into something more. This is exactly what you're trying not to do. If you've already agreed to a relationship with no strings attached, you don't want to end up tangled in the strings that weren't even supposed to be there. If you start developing feelings for the other person, it's time to call it quits. While some casual relationships do develop into more serious ones, it's very rare. It's more likely to turn into a messy disaster if you let it progress too long. You're trying to protect your heart after all.

3. Don't act like a couple.

This means that you shouldn't go out public places together. In order to avoid developing any type of romantic feelings for someone, avoid being in any romantic situations with that person. That just feels like common sense, yet it's a mistake everyone ends up making. Sometimes your casual relationship is with a friend or coworker and you often hang out together. If it works for you, fine. But as a standard rule, being in an intimate location starts to develop intimate attachment. You want to avoid that if you can. If you are going out together, make sure it's in groups, where the atmosphere is less intimate. Intimacy in the bedroom is the only thing you're looking for. Try and keep that in mind when you're making connections.

4. Get a freak in the sheets.

Find someone who is just a little bit crazy and exotic. Someone who pushes the limits in just the right ways. Act out strange and crazy fantasies with this person. Things you would never tell anyone else you've ever done. Things you'd never consider asking a boyfriend to do. When you look at your casual relationship, see it as a dirty little secret. Play with that. See your partner as nothing more than an object of desire. This will prevent you from doing things like picturing a relationship with this person. Or seeing anything long term. A little shame can sometimes be a good thing. But, I'm not suggesting you put yourself in dangerous situations here. Unless you want to, of course.

Keep in mind that while you may be willing to give it a chance, casual dating isn't for everyone. Some of us just aren't meant to have a no-strings attached arrangement. Some of us want someone to hold us after sex. Or someone to go to the movies with. Someone to hold our hand and tell us they love us. But if you don't, then casual dating is right up your alley. So have fun with it.