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Thursday, September 27, 2018

Do Men Really Know What Women Want?

I've read a lot of articles that guide men on attracting women. This advice ranges from playing hard to get to teasing a prospective date. As a woman, I can't say I agree with these tactics. If you were teasing me, I wouldn't bother replying to your texts. Not because I have no sense of humor, but because I have questionable self-esteem from years of not-so-playful teasing. It's not a turn-on to me. I wouldn't chase someone, either. I wasted years chasing people in the past. I want someone who is upfront about what they are looking for. Don't all women? It's not too much to ask. But, with crap advice like "tease her, she'll love it", you can see why so many men swing and miss.

The dating game is a trial and error kind of thing. There's no right or wrong way to do anything. While I don't like teasing, another woman may actually find it intriguing. Another woman might enjoy the thrill of the chase, of finally capturing the man she had her eyes set on. I can't know what every single woman in the world is looking for. But I can say being honest is pretty high up there, right? Maybe not too honest, there is certainly a line that can be crossed. But it's better to be brutally honest about something than to be sweetly insincere. Insincerity can never be appealing.

Guys, if you're playing hard to get: She's going to think you're not interested. She's going to think you're stringing her along. She's going to stop chasing you or trying to win you over. She's going to leave. A few women might enjoy it, but it's not a standard. We want someone who wants us back. We want to know we're desired and sought after. We want to know we're getting as good as we're given. We're not looking for easy loving, but it shouldn't be a damn marathon either. If you're actually interested in a woman: LET HER KNOW.

I wish I could get inside the mind of the advice columns I've been reading. To truly understand why men seem to think their tactic works. Part of me wonders if these columns are written for guys to mess up intentionally. Somewhere, there is a genius sitting behind a computer screen, typing out these articles. They get posted online where men, struggling to make a connection, read them. Those same men go into the world using that advice and they bomb. They bomb so hard they pull out of the dating game altogether. Suddenly, there's more room for the men who actually know what women want.

I mean, just watch the movie if you're not convinced! Not every woman wants the Christian Grays of the world.Sure, there are a few. They just don't represent the majority of us.

Next time you're chatting up a girl you're interested in, ask her what she wants. Ask what kind of man would be her ideal. If she describes someone sweet and sensitive, teasing & hard to get is going to lose the game for you. If she describes someone confident and independent who speaks his mind, you might have a chance with teasing.

Just remember that every woman is different, without different likes & dislikes. Don't categorize everyone into the same shape or you're going to find no one fits your ideal.