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Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Running

I'm running and
This path feels like it's never ending.
I'm always looking over my shoulder,
Hoping to see you getting closer.
Every time I pause,
I sob.
I'm face with the reality
That you've never been chasing me.
But still I run.
I'm still holding on.
I want to be strong.
I want to show you I've moved on.
I'm long gone.
But I'm only shooting half truths at an empty sky.
I'm wondering why
Why I'd even try?
It's so much easier to say goodbye.
That's another lie.
If it were easy, it would be done.
I know when I'm not wanted.
But this love has always haunted me.
You run through my memory.
Like a tease.
A tear through the seams
That tugs on me.
What is this?
Why can't I erase the taste of your kiss?
Why can't I remember what led to this?
I never focused on the good,
Not before, though maybe I should.
I'm always looking at the blackened skies,
Pouring out less truth than lies.
But I see you now.
Who you are, not were.
That smile, though still the same
Is looking at someone who isn't me.
Why am I looking?
I can't let go.
I'm still running for what seems like forever.
I'm still looking for answers.
Still searching.
I'm still dreaming of a future between you and me.
I'm crazy.
Or that's what everyone says about me.
I think I'm just protecting my own reality.
Not that life is bad, yours or mine.
But we not together, so I'm still stuck in time.