Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Anchored

After you've spent enough time swimming through memories, you start to lose grip of reality. You begin thinking of possible futures with faces that no longer look the same. Your mind is playing tricks on you, convincing you of possibilities that never existed to begin with and certainly couldn't be created out of thin air. Time distorts our memories of even the things we are most sure of. Fact or fiction all blurs into itself in a beautiful dance the two perform on stage together. There is no reality. There is only perception. Perception changes with the way we grow as individuals. Each day, our trials and tribulations combine to create a wiser and older version of who we were yesterday. Tomorrow, you will not be the same person you were today. If you are stuck in stagnation it's only because you're not learning or growing. You don't need a change of scenery or new faces to be a new person. You only need a fraction of new information to change everything that has been. You will not remember today the way you are experiencing it. You will remember yesterday as the person you are now, with clear changes to the way you perceive each event. A mistake you made yesterday might have been the start of a beautiful tomorrow and you'd never know it. Today, you're filled with regret, pain, and a constant sense of the unknown. A week from now all the pieces could fall into place. Will you still see yesterday as a mistake? No. We remember everything only in terms of how the future allows us to see actions/words/thoughts of the past.

Yesterday you were a beautiful moment. Tomorrow you will be a secret. Today, you're just another regret on a long list of those that have come before you. How was I to know the action-reaction? How was I to avoid a mistake I didn't know I was making yet? We can't. We can't avoid what we don't know and we can't let the fear control our lives. Whether we have a future together or not is irrelevant to today. Tomorrow and yesterday mean nothing. Today is all that matters. The feelings and the plans and the actions and the reactions. Only of today because no one knows what version of themselves tomorrow is going to bring.

If you're questioning a decision, a part of you has already made up your mind. We don't walk in random directions, even it feels like we're going blind. There is always a purpose. Maybe not to who we are today, but who we're going to become. Nothing we are today is a reflection of the decisions we made yesterday. The past doesn't have that kind of power until you allow it to be the deciding factor of your future. The joy of being a new version of yourself every day is you can make a different choice today. Yesterday, you may have let the past control your actions. Today, you don't have to. You can take control. It doesn't take weeks, months, or even years. It takes today. So before the day is gone, use your wisdom wisely. Use your voice to speak the unspoken words. Use your senses to experience the world around you. Use your memory to store those moments. Use today to forget yesterday and prepare yourself for tomorrow.

If we truly do only remember in terms of how the future worked out, how do you want to remember today? Was it an anchor or wings?

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