I Got Ghosted

Let's preface this with the statement: I hate the modern age. Good? Good.

I've recently spoke about wanting to experience some of the things I always write about. I signed up on POF to meet a few people and see how it would go. Mostly, I wanted some first-hand experience on first dates and the “do” and “don't” of dating someone. Especially someone you met online. I thought it would be helpful to my career and give me unique input. I wasn't wrong, that's for sure.

Firstly, my POF experience has been Hell. Seriously, Hell. I got over 100 messages and none of them were particularly good ones. I did continue chatting with a few guys after I deleted my account. Of them, I only actually met 3. Let's talk about those 3...

The first guy, I invited to my house. We sat in the living room, great conversation, but no chemistry. I really wasn't feeling the guy. He said he was great at reading body language, but over-stayed his welcome. That was my bad because I could have easily told him to go and I didn't. I was trying to be polite. Anyway, he still tried to kiss me when he left. I told him I wasn't feeling it. When he left, I told him I didn't think we should see each other. Foreshadowing: I don't believe in ghosting. It's just a dick move. He agreed initially, but then texted a few other times asking to get together. I didn't reply the second time.

The second guy doesn't know I met him at all. We agreed to meet at a coffee shop near my place. I was there before him. I saw someone incredibly sketchy, but he didn't look like the guy I was meeting. Until the guy I was meeting texted and said he was there. I left as quickly as I could without making a scene and drawing attention to myself. He texted and asked where I was. I told him I was having a panic attack about leaving the house (not entirely false, but not entirely true – it was a panic attack about him, specifically). I said I didn't think it would be a good idea to meet. He waited in the neighborhood waiting for me to change my mind for 4 hours. He texted non-stop about where he was and what he was doing. I told him I thought he was pushy. He pulled a “nice guy” rant and then stopped talking to me. Good riddance.

The third... Well, here's a story for the ages. A cautionary tale about being careful what you wish for because you just might get it. In this story, we have a trickster genie and a gullible Princess. Metaphors aside: This guy was bold, overly confident. He sent a dick pic in the second message. But, there was something about him that I found oddly intriguing. So I kept chatting, despite that not being the only dick pic sent. Fast forward a week of occasionally chatting and we finally meet. He picks me up at my place and we go to a coffee shop. He buys. We go back to his place and watch a movie. The whole time, I'm on his living room floor because I don't want to give the impression that I'm easy. The movie finishes, he drives me home. He doesn't try to kiss me when I get out of the car. I reflect on this for two reasons: 1. He may not like me. 2. I'm glad he was respectful of my space. The next day, I invite him over and he comes... In more ways than one. We kept chatting for a few days and then, gone. I only found out when I was going through the people I was following on Instagram and realized he was no longer there. His account no longer existed. Oh, he blocked me. Okay. Rude. So I text him. Nothing. He sent me a good morning message yesterday... What could have possibly changed?!

So, I'm sad. Not only because I was actually attracted to this guy (which, let's face it is a miracle with how picky I am), but also because this is the first person I have been with in YEARS. To have the person I choose ghost me is, something else.

But, circling back, I got exactly what I wished for. I wanted to experience the modern dating world, and now I have. It's bullshit. No one has the balls to say what they are really thinking, even though I thought guy #3 did. I didn't have the balls to be honest with guy #2. Guy #1 didn't have the balls to be honest with himself.

It's not like it isn't a learning experience, because it is. I'll take it that way soon enough. I just felt like I needed to vent a bit and didn't really know where else to do it. I may take this post down in the future, since it's a bit more personal than I like to get on the site. But, in the mean time, enjoy laughing at the irony with me. I'll be laughing.