I know I've done quite a bit of complaining recently, and haven't been practicing any sort of gratitude. It's not that there aren't things going right in my life, it's just that I've got no distraction from the negativity. I've tried so many methods of distraction. Some of them were unhealthy, admittedly. But many of them were normal and healthy responses to stressful situations. I've been trying to escape the thoughts of Matt. I've been trying to distract myself from the COVID pandemic. And you know what? I've even been writing and Journaling! It isn't something I've been doing in the last few months, maybe longer. But I have had many thoughts I've needed to express over the past few months.
(TLDR: Please give me suggestions on how to distract myself by commenting on this post!)
Let's look at the distractions and why they aren't working...
I thought meeting people would be a great way to distract my mind. Especially after Matt. The point leading up to him was particularly annoying, as avid readers may remember. After him, I haven't been able to click with many people. Then, my POF profile was removed for "violating the TOS". I just heard back from customer support about why... It was an accident. An error on the automated flagging system. Of course, there's nothing they can do to revive my profile. I'd have to make a new account... It seems like a lot of work.
I have my tablet and a bunch of games I've downloaded through CoinPop. The app pays out points for playing which can be turned into PayPal money. I've made between $20-30 and it's given me a great distraction method. Yesterday, every game disappeared. Literally. I thought it was an error, but, the new game I downloaded is showing up. It's like the app reset, but I didn't lose any of my points. That's good at least... But, now I've got nothing to play. I don't like to play games randomly. It's too much a waste of time.
I do have my Xbox still. Left 4 Dead 2 crashes every second time I try to play, but it's more annoying than broken. I can just restart. I downloaded a racing game demo, but I can't buy it yet. Maybe next week I can. I don't know.
I'm trying to get into the Quarantine Coloring Book (by Gerard Way and friends). As soon as I started, I remembered why I don't color. It's stressful to me, not relaxing. My hand aches when I try. I get frustrated by the uneven colors of a single pencil crayon. The combination of markers and pencil crayons makes it easier, but, not by much. I prefer to draw because I am creating my own image. But, every time I pick up my sketchbook, my mind can't remember how to draw a single line. Silly, right?
The best thing I could do to distract myself is walking the shoreline. Unfortunately, as many of us know, everything is closed. I can't walk the beach and collect trinkets. I can't even walk the boardwalk near my house because it's closed too. Of course, I could just walk around the neighborhood. But, the weather has been terrible and I'll likely get sick if I were to go outside anyway. No one wants to walk around in the snow, right? I don't know why it's still snowing, but this week has been strange when it comes to weather.
So... What's left? What else can I do to distract myself from these thoughts that run rampant in my brain? Does anyone have any suggestions?
Now, at the beginning of this post, I asked for distraction suggestions. That said, these are the most popular ones, and as you'll see, they aren't applicable to me or aren't possible with the current pandemic. Here is the list:
Follow a schedule
Set life goals
Practice sleep hygiene
Arts & crafts
Draw / paint
Coloring books / pages
Do a puzzle or word game
Journal / write
Bake / cook
Dance / sing
Watch a movie / TV
Listen to music
Socialize with someone you care about
Spend time in the community
Cuddle a pet / animal
The reason I'm sharing this list is to help other people who may be struggling. This is also why I'd like you to comment below, instead of reaching out to me. You can reach out if you'd like to as well.