Struggling


I'm still thinking about you. I know I shouldn't be. I keep fighting myself over reaching out to you. But I know, I've got so move on and let you live your life. I know that if you wanted to keep in touch, you'd already be in touch. Right? A part of me, of course, thinks you're doing the same thing as me. Sitting beside your phone, reaching for it and hoping to see a text. Nothing. Then you think about sending a message, even just a hello. But you don't, because you're trying to create enough space that what we had dissipates... That's what I'm doing, but the way. There's nothing I want more than to see your smiling face. I don't think there's enough time in the world to make my feelings for you dissipate. I think they're too strong. Even if you don't feel the same. I'm fighting the flames of desire, and I know I'm going to be burned by the fire. But I don't care if you're on the other side. I'd happily be burned alive. Because you made my heart come to life. I don't know how I'm supposed to fight this. There are so many swirling thoughts in my head... But I know that they are all stupid. I mean, I'm not calling myself stupid, but the way I'm holding onto you is. Oh, but you're so worth holding onto, and I'm struggling to let you of you. I want you to feel like this is something, but that's just my delusions. That's fine, I know I fell too hard, too deep, now you're another scar. I can't change the way I am just because other people don't like it. I'm crazy, and impulsive. I'm also really sensitive. So when I meet someone like you and the chemistry is just unreal, I invest every part of who I am, even if it hurts in the end. 

I'm rambling I know. I'm trying to write you out. But the more I do, the more I realize I don't want to. I want you in my life too badly, even if we're just friendly. I don't want to let this goes go out, I want to fan it just enough. I know that's its insane, but I want you in any way... 

I keep checking my notifications, hoping to see your name. It's not going to happen, I know. I'm struggling to let you go. 
Struggling Struggling Reviewed by Ali Larsen on September 18, 2020 Rating: 5

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