I could cry my eyes out, but it doesn't matter. I've been through this before and I know it. I'll be going through it again the next time I try to find someone to share experiences with. I'm not looking for someone who makes me happy. I know I have to find that within myself. I'm also not willing to settle for someone who doesn't make me feel alive. I want to tell myself this is it, there's no point in trying. But I know myself well enough to know that would be a lie. I don't want to get hurt again, I don't want to hurt this time. I don't want to put that kind of pressure on this guy. If I did decide to cry, it'd be brewing for some time. It's not about the current situation, but an accumulation of everything I've been shoving down coming up like a cloud. I've tried to bury it all, pushing and pushing like a suitcase that's too full. But it's backfiring when everything comes flying out. The only thing that is actually his doing is the tornado of his kiss that ripped through me. Everything I had been denying. Every emotion I had been hiding. He swept through my life and flipped it upside down. It's a good thing, despite how it sounds. I needed to bring this all to the surface, I just didn't know how to do it. Therapy wasn't helping and the meds made it easier to just ignore. In a few days, I promise, I'll be grateful for his storm.

Tornado Tornado Reviewed by Ali Larsen on September 12, 2020 Rating: 5

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