Never Signing Off

  Pancakes For Dinner My eyes slowly flutter open and I look around the room. I'm exhausted, even after sleeping. Two flights in the last day and a pile of contracts to read can do that to a person. I don't know how the Hollywood fuckers can manage. I want to sleep for days. Days. It doesn't help that every ounce of energy I had left was given to the person asleep beside me. I smile, slowly pulling myself out of the bed. There's no sunlight coming in from the window. At first, I think it must be too early. Maybe I didn't sleep as long as I thought. The clock says it's 5:00 though, so the sun should be in the distance. Then I remember I got off the plane at five am, so that means it's five in the afternoon. We slept the entire day away. Oh well. I grab the jeans that are laying on the floor and pull them over my hips. I reach for my shirt, pulling it over my head. But it's not mine. It's the black Cramps t-shirt he was wearing last night. Oh w...

  Home Is An Empty Bed I open the front door, resting against the frame as I push it open. It's somewhere around five in the morning and I'm tired from the two flights. I've never been a fan of flying, so more than one flight in a day is not my ideal way to spend time. I kick my shoes off on the rug that lines the entrance way. I drape my coat over one of the chairs in the kitchen. Then, I head down the hall towards my room. I pause in the hallway, caught off guard by the high-pitched giggling I hear coming from inside the guest room. There are a million thoughts running through my head, but my mind rests on "I guess Hunter is back". I take a deep breath before stepping forward, trying to prepare myself for the sight. I take the lightest steps possible, making sure my footsteps are faint, almost impossible to hear. You'd have a better chance catching the heart rate of a mouse. I peer around the corner, looking into the room. There's a small...

  Confession “I'm glad you're here.” He whispers, pressing his nose into mine. I softly kiss him, adjusting on the hotel bed. He has his arms rested above my head and he's holding himself up with his elbows. His room looks lived in, which makes sense because it is. It's got a burgundy theme, from the carpet to the curtains. The bed has a tacky blanket draped over it. It's burgundy and beige and it matches the pillow covers. There's a small dresser on the wall beside the door. On top of it is a small television and a bunch of stuff that belongs to him. His Xbox is one of the items on the dresser, along with his controller and a handful of sandbox games. Most of his personal effects are in the bathroom, even though it's clear his bathing is rare. There are two night tables, one on either side of the double bed. Both have lamps on top of them and one has the hotel phone as well. Underneath the window is a small wooden table with a burgundy chair beside ...

  Record Label I'm waiting in the boardroom on the top floor of the label’s office. He told me he was negotiating his next album, but he never told me why. He planned to have me singing on the album, which required convincing his label that I could be added to his contract. It also meant that I'd have to sign off on some of the album concepts. I figure it meant I would be touring with him too. Not because I want to, but because it was going to be required. Jared took my shift at Reggie's so I wouldn't have to rush to get back on the plane. Reggie didn't seem to mind. He had told me last week that since Jared started coming around, business was booming. I noticed it without him having to say so. Jared started playing acoustic sets a few times a week. That brought in a whole new crowd. Then, when the word got out that Jared was a regular, other bands wanted to start playing. So, Reggie had to hire double the staff, buy double the liquor. But, he didn't hav...

  Book Tour “When were you going to tell me?” I ask sharply. I don't want to seem upset, but I am. “ I just didn't think you'd mind, since Hunter is here.” Crystal replies loosely, keeping her back to me. I watch as she's packing her suitcase. For a minute, I think about Kathleen watching me throwing things into a box in Hunter's bedroom. I chuckle to myself thinking about it. Fond memories. Of course, I'm not upset that Crystal is leaving. Not at all. I'm upset that she didn't tell me until the very last minute. She needs a ride to the airport two days from now. She didn't give me time to make arrangements at all. I have half the mind to tell her to call a damn taxi. I don't have to drive her everywhere, but I choose to. I choose to conquer my fear to make her life easier. Because I love her. When you love someone, you make sacrifices for them. But she didn't consider me when she decided to leave. She didn't. It didn't cros...

  A Memory I think it's been almost a month since Jared came to town. He's come and gone a few times, but always ends up coming back. I don't know if I'm the one he wants to spend time with, but I'm not complaining. I think, personally, he's just spanning the time until Frankie gets here. I think Jared wants to be here when he gets home. “ He told me about the upcoming tour. It's kicking off in April, I believe.” I announce, looking over at Jared. We're sitting in the living room with the fireplace crackling in the background. We were watching movies, but grew tired of staring at the screen. Now we're drinking wine and talking about life. “ I'd like to come to some of the shows, if I'd be welcome.” He hints. I laugh, nodding my head. “ I'm sure that can be arranged.” I offer. He's quiet for a minute, looking down at the couch. “ I'm sorry about the, well,” He pauses and I watch him bite the corner of his mouth. Th...

  Designated Driver Crystal has been making me drive everywhere. She knows how I feel about being in control of the wheel. I've got an almost uncontrollable urge to steer into oncoming traffic whenever I see a car driving in the other direction. She knows this, because I've told her this on many different occasions. In fact, I tell her this every time she tells me to get behind the wheel. But she says she trusts me. That she believes I wouldn't put her life in danger. She's probably right. But I still don't trust myself. I don't trust my reaction time either. But Charlie doesn't have a license anymore. He hasn't had a car in so long, he said he didn't see the point. He just let it expire. He has to take the test over, but can't find the time in his schedule. Jared won't drive for the same reasons as me. When he has control of the wheel, you can see him clench his fists around the rubber. His breathing races and his pulse picks up. He...