Never Signing Off

I hate it when you face the wall and refuse to talk. I hate when you wake me up when you go for your 6 am walk. I hate the way you're always intentionally singing off key. But I love how you rearranged your entire life for me. I love how many things I've only done because of you. I love the way you held my hand and always saw it through. I love how brave you've been, even when everything went wrong. I love that it's because of you that I've become so strong. I hate the armor that you built having to deal with damage from me. I hate all the obvious abuse that I was too blind to see. I hate the way sometimes there's a bitterness in your voice, But I love when you remind me you've always had a choice. I love that you never hesitate when I ask you if it's changed. I love that you're so confident about making the same mistakes. I love that it never bothers you what other people say. I love how fucking strong you are, I'm always amazed. I hate that you...

I don't know where I'd be without you by my side. You are my inspiration and a constant source of pride. I don't know why I fought so hard to keep you at a distance. Since you've been around, everything has fallen into place. You are such a blessing, I'm grateful to have you in my life. It is because of you that I'm finally able to thrive. I know I gave you a hard time, I made you try and try and try.  Nothing was ever good enough. I had no sense of trust. I saw the worst in everyone. You knew that, but didn't run. Instead, you marched head first Into the disaster that has been us. I hope you never regret a second, Because I know that I never would. You remind me every single day In new and unique ways That my love for you will never change, I don't think I've ever felt this way. You bring out a different feeling. You leave my knees weak and my heart reeling. Sometimes it's all to much for me. But loving you is just so easy. We're always nit-...

 

 It's been too long to recall how long you've been around. I think I've known you in too many lives for me to count. I know when I'm awake in the middle of the night, There's no one else I'd rather have by my side. You entertain my ranting and listen to me talk. When it comes to you, I'll do anything but walk. I always considered myself To be a head-first kind of girl. You made it easy to fall in love. There was no such thing as going slow. The minute I met you, My heart was yours and I knew. It didn't matter what might change. That would always stay the same. Of course, I played hard to get at first. We've already established I have trust issues. I didn't know what you wanted from me, So I made sure to keep you wanting. You probably told me exactly what you wanted, But my insecurities always speak the loudest.  I translated every sweet nothing Into something disgusting. There were times I made you sound like a monster, But you persisted even whe...

I want to apologize For everything I said last night. I know sometimes I can be cruel. When I get into a certain mood. I'm snappy and I'm pretty rude. I completely lose my cool. You do the best you can do To navigate through. I appreciate that you talk to me Like adults, capable of communicating. I don't even have to second guess Exactly what it is you meant. You're always absolutely clear. I love you so much my dear. I never feel ashamed to Admit when I am wrong to you. You're always so mature about it. Even if I was being a brat. I know that I can be hard to handle. I'm not exactly a good example. You make me want to be a better person, You make a future seem worth it. You're so encouraging and supportive of me. I don't know how I ever got so lucky. Every day I see you smile, I know you're worth the struggle. I hope talking to you is always like this. I never want things to drastically change. I can handle bending with time, As long as you're s...

 

 

Hayden was looking forward to the summer break. She managed to pass all of her classes, though just barely. She knew she would have to put in twice the effort the following year. But her mind could drift from school work for a few weeks without being problematic. Rob also looked forward to the release from school. There was just a different pressure throughout the year. It wasn’t like either of them had a great start to the school year. Jessica made sure of that. She also swore to ruin their summer many times throughout the year. Unfortunately for Jessica, as soon as school ended, her family moved. They had to get away from the shame their daughter brought to the family. They moved to a new city to start over. Hayden and Rob would never have to see Jessica again. Ever. They were finally free. Hayden woke up on Saturday morning and headed to the park behind her house. She had agreed to meet Rob later, but she wanted to play on the swing set. It wasn’t common that Hayden wanted to “...

Anne invited Hayden and Liz out to brunch just before mother’s day. It was an unofficial mother’s day brunch. Hayden had a theory it was Anne’s way of comparing the relationships her boys were in. She had expressed curiosity to Hayden. She refused to answer any of Anne’s questions. She felt like it was Rob’s responsibility to tell his mother what they did or didn’t do. She maintained that every time Anne tried to corner her and ask. It was becoming frequent. Hayden met Liz outside the restaurant. Liz was pacing back and fourth. Hayden had never seen her this nervous. It was even worse than the family dinner. It was just Anne. This was more intimate. “Hey.” Hayden greeted as she approached. Liz looked over at her. “Oh thank God. I thought I was going to have to go in alone!” She exclaimed. Hayden smiled. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” She assured. Liz nodded and the two girls walked into the restaurant. Anne, Brent and Rob were already sitting at their table. Anne stood up and w...