Never Signing Off

Hayden waited until Saturday morning before braving her conversation with Liz. Hayden figured the easiest way was to wait until they were at hockey. Then Liz would be somewhat distracted and maybe wouldn’t have a bad reaction. Hayden didn’t really know what to expect from Liz. She wasn’t overly dramatic like Jessica, but she was going to have a reaction. Anyone would. Hayden knew to expect something. Liz didn’t ask why she wanted to tag along. She seemed happy to have the female companionship. Hockey was something her dad and brother did. She only went along because she had nothing better to do and wanted to know more about her brother’s hobby. That’s when she started talking to Brent. Liz told Hayden all about their first awkward conversation. They already knew each other, so it was hard to transition from strangers to friends to a relationship in less than a week. Hayden wondered if normal relationships were easier to manage. Even though she didn’t know much, she had a feeling h...

I met you many years ago, Communication doesn't always flow. I lose you for a couple years, Blinded by insecurities, fears. Feeling like I don't have enough to offer. That I'm not as worthy as others. I hold back from expressing myself, Afraid that people will think I'm weird. But with you, I never have to worry. I know you're always there for me. We have a connection that can't be explained. It's not just because we have the same birthday. There is something about the way we think That has been an everlasting link. You've shared so many of my insecurities. I know you must think like me. When I'm afraid to reach out to you, I should ask myself what you would do. I know that your door is always open. You're just waiting for me to walk in. But I'm scared to let anyone get close. I'd rather just exist as a ghost. You should know I'm always thinking of you. I hope that message makes it through. I always hope you're happy, and doing we...

Hayden was excited to see Rob back at school on Monday morning. He was unusually quiet, but at least he was showing his face again. Hayden took that as a good sign. She sat with Rob on the bus, like usual. The teacher gave Rob a lecture about his attendance. He promised he’d pull it together, but it was too late to impact the current semester and Rob knew it. He was making false promises, but at least there was an attempt on his part. It was another victory as far as Hayden was concerned. When her and Rob met back up before lunch, she didn’t think to warn him of the new seating arrangements. When they got to the cafeteria, Rob was confused that Hayden immediately went to sit with Brent and one of his friends. Rob cautiously approached the table. “Liz will be here any minute. I’ve been sitting with her in your absence.” Hayden joked. Rob nodded. “She’s been around the house a lot too.” He agreed. Brent looked over and raised his eyebrow. “I thought you liked Liz.” He sighed. Ro...

Luck... Or Something Hilary Duff's Luck... Or Something Album Review This whole album has a raw emotional energy. You can feel what she feels with each song.  This is a musical journey through the last 10 years of her life; mom life, marriage, maturing... She put this together with a lot of care and thought. That is quite audible. Despite the insecurities she feels in herself, you can hear her confidence in Matthew. 1. Weather For Tennis I think this is my favorite song from the album. It's catchy, like your average pop song. But the lyrics are anything but. I can relate on a deeply personal level to this particular song. I could have written this song. I have many similar I'm sure. 2. Roommates I feel like we've all been in this situation. There are few people who can't relate to this one. It happens at some point in every relationship.  3. We Don't Talk It must have been hard for her to write this particular song. She was always incredibly close with her sist...

Hayden was sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria when Brent dropped down beside her. “I tried talking to him.” He started. Hayden nodded for him to continue. Brent shook his head. “I don’t know that I made anything better or worse. I couldn’t read him at all. It was like talking to a wall. I’ve never seen him that way.” Brent rambled. Hayden kept nodding. “He’s defensive. His trust was breached.” She simplified. Brent let out a deep sigh. “I didn’t mean anything by it.” He groaned as he dropped his head backwards. Hayden half-smiled. “I believe you.” She assured. Brent put both his hands on top of his head and looked over. “What do we do?” He asked. Hayden shook her head. There was no instruction manual for moments like this. They both sat in silence for a few minutes. “I think I need to tell Liz. In case he tries to.” Brent blurted. Hayden raised her eyebrow. “Do you really think he’s that petty?” She questioned. Brent shook his head. “Not petty. Hurt.” He corrected. Hayd...

“I don’t think we’re even going to rank.” Rob complained for what felt like the millionth time. Hayden shook her head, finishing the bite of her sandwich. “I don’t care about the sales.” She groaned. She had already told him, as many times as he complained, that she didn’t care. She just wanted the excuse to spend time with him and participate in a school event. This was counting towards the physical education portion of the grade. They were being credited for the amount of time they walked, based on the amount of sales they made. The teacher had a giant map of the city printed and was calculating the distance with a ruler. It was eccentric, but Hayden wasn’t going to complain about the chance to boost that particular class. She didn’t know any other way to improve her physical education grade. “I do.” Rob corrected. The bench jerked as someone sat down beside Hayden. She looked over to see Angela, a friend of Jessica’s. Her friend Crystal sat down beside Rob, dropping her hand on hi...

There were a lot of whispers the Monday that Rob returned to school. Hayden stood by his side, regardless of what other people were saying. She knew the kind of person Rob was. She knew the kind of person Jessica was. She never doubted that Rob was innocent. She just suspected he was guilty of something else. She was right too. After telling her about Josh, his demeanor changed again. He was more relaxed around her. He didn’t twitch away when she brushed against him. In fact, he almost seemed into it, but there were people around. Still, Hayden took it as a sign they were making progress. He was letting his walls down. Jessica wasn’t coming back to school. She had been kicked out for her false accusations and act of vandalism. She had to go to a special school for delinquents who have been kicked out of regular school. Hayden felt a little bad for her. At the same time, she acknowledged that Jessica made her own decisions. No one told her to burn down the tree house except for the...

Hayden was told that Rob would be going back to school after the Christmas break. Over the Christmas break, she would be allowed to see him when he wasn’t busy. Her first time over, Hayden got to hang out with Rob and Josh. Josh expressed that he was happy everything worked out in Rob’s favor. He said it would have been a shame for Rob’s reputation to be ruined so early in life. Hayden was happy that Rob had such a supportive influence in his life. At first. She couldn’t help but notice that Rob acted different when he was around Josh. She tried to convince herself that she was just imagining things. It became hard to ignore. She recognized the way Rob was looking at Josh. It was the same way he looked at her. She had a feeling that she knew why. Hayden distanced herself for a few days. She knew she should just talk to Rob. But, she was trying to work through whatever was going on in her mind on her own first. She didn’t want to bring it up until she knew exactly what bothered her...

On Saturday, Anne let Hayden come over after Brent left for hockey. She stayed back with the younger kids. She sent Hayden and Rob down into the basement. As soon as they were down the stairs, Rob turned around and started kissing her. She playfully pushed him backwards. He tripped and fell into the pile on laundry that was always at the bottom of the basement stairs. Hayden laughed, heading into the recreational space. There was an old couch, an old TV, and the Sega game system. Hayden dropped down on the couch. “Is this how you’ve been spending your time?” She motioned to the screen. Rob nodded as he walked over to her. “Mom’s keeping me down here like she’s ashamed.” He sighed. Hayden nodded. “At least she didn’t ground you completely.” She offered. Rob shrugged. “I didn’t do anything wrong.” He reminded her. She raised her eyebrow, motioning for him to sit down beside her. He tried to sit down casually, but he failed. He immediately kissed her. She didn’t resist. “I’ve missed...