About Ali Larsen

This was not put together with the goal of being professional. This biography was written to showcase the more frivolous side of me. If you would like to maintain the charade that I am 100% professional, please do not continue past this point. If you're interested in peeking behind the professional curtain, I hope you will do so with the same whimsy I used to write this.

Hi! You're about to read my badly written biography. Why you would want to know anything about me is as much a mystery to me as it possibly is to you. Maybe I'm charismatic and interesting, or maybe I'm insane enough to catch attention. But whatever the reason you're here, welcome!

So, my name is Amanda Li Larsen. I go by Ali, which started through signing everything A.Li. So, that's what everyone calls me. Honestly? I'd prefer to go by Amanda. And since we're being honest: Amanda isn't my birth name. I chose it back in 2001 when I made my first MSN email address. I wanted an alias to use in the chat rooms. So I told everyone my name was Amanda Basser (the last name has changed a few times since) and said I was born in 1982. No one has questioned that claim, which makes me happy. Of course, that's not my real age and most people know that now. But I've always believed the concept of "age" was outdated. Age is nothing more than a state of mind and my mind state clocks in around 1000 years old. I'm a dragon. It's pretty cool. Okay, I'd have to be the world's smallest dragon because I'm barely above 5 feet. But, I can always dream... Although, I'd never dream of being a dragon because they actually terrify me. I can only handle the poorly animated dragons, like the ones found in the Spyro video game series. You may also want to know that can. I have bright green eyes, and a soul-stealing smile. That last bit doesn't come from me, I've just been told it enough times to believe it. Not that people see me smile often. I'm comparable to Mandy from the Grimm Adventures of Billy & Mandy. I don't smile. I don't laugh. I'm generally apathetic (although some of that can be attributed to a dis-associative personality disorder and some can be attributed to my prescription of Zoloft). I also live through sarcasm and prefer to stay home by myself. As a result of my hermit-like tendencies, I find I've lost most of my social skills. Which is fine, because I gave up my social circle a few years ago. Every time I rejoin social media, I'm reminded that I'm a hermit and it's just not my lifestyle.

I also talk entirely too much, which many people find unappealing. When I'm not talking, it's because I'm deep in thought or unaware of the social protocol that I am supposed to be following. I think a lot and that has led to becoming the way that I am. Jaded and cynical at my worst and apathetic at my best. Of course, despite my need to talk (which is actually to fill the silence that I find otherwise deafening because it leaves me to think), I'm a good listener. I can't say I'm a good friend, because most of my friends would rather remove their eyes with spoons than be locked in a room with me, so that must account for something. I try though, and I think that's all I can really do. No matter what, at the end of the day, I am who I am. I only want to surround myself with people who are comfortable with whatever that may be. Hence, the lack of a social life.

If I sound like a loser to you, join the club. Or don't. I don't care either way.

I was always born a writer, so personal relationships have always been strained for me. I prefer to live inside a fictional world of my own creation. I started writing when I was old enough to hold a pen and I never really put that pen down. I'm married to my career, even though I hate it. Honestly, being a writer is a curse that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. If I had never started... Well, there's no sense thinking about things that can't be changed. It's embedded into the way I think and feel about the world and the people in it. I write to stay sane and to face the world around me by recreating the world to suit my needs. By that logic, the whole world revolves around me. This is why most people don't like me. I don't know how to be loved, but I know how to be hated quite well.

But I have good qualities too, I promise!

I enjoy long walks on the beach, traveling, and going out dancing (on IMVU). You may already know that I live entirely on my computer (an ancient Dell Inspiron 1501) and my phone. My life revolves around these electronics because over the years, they have been my best friends. Not the people I communicate with on social media (because #nosocialsclub) or the people I message (I only text my mother), but the devices themselves. The worlds they have allowed me to create. The friends they have allowed me to invent and bond with.

I also write professionally, believe it or not. I'm a freelance writer for hire with reasonable rates and a portfolio of over 200+ satisfied clients. I'm also a designer, although I use RedBubble as my platform for selling, which anyone can use. I try to dabble in different artistic endeavors, like photography, wax melts, website design, film making... The list goes on. But there's one little problem with being an entrepreneur:

I suffer from severe and crippling depression.

That means I actually never have "good" days. I just have days that are less terrible than others. I've learned to live with this over the last few years, but I've come to accept that most other people won't. If I still sound like a loser to you, I think you're being entirely too judgemental, so there *sticking my tongue out*.