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The Little Things

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Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About My Writing Starts With This Piece Of It
Date Written: January 20, 2016



We sat above the park, always overlooking. Our legs hanging over the concrete wall we perched ourselves up on. We didn't “rule the streets”, we watched them. The guardian angels they never knew were even there. We watched children running around everywhere. In the sand, on the swings, rolling through the grassy hills. These were our friends, our neighbors. Lost kids who lived in the projects, looking to find meaning in each other. Skipping rocks, jumping rope, whatever their imagination could come up with. But ultimately, spanning time.

There was yelling, swearing from the highway behind us. Horns being whaled on so loudly the sound could be heard over the music blasting from the same cars. These were our influences. Our teachers, and professionals. Parents. Lost adults in the city looking to find meaning in method. Careers or success, cocktails at the bar after work or lo…

Forever

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You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. But I don't want to overuse the concept too early.
I don't have anything new to write down, but,
We've got the rest of our lives to figure something out.
I truly believe we'll be together forever.
Despite how often I argue any future.
In my heart, I see you as something more.
More than anything I've ever had before.
I feel so comfortable when I'm around you.
That's a completely new feeling, too.
I've never really felt this way,
So it's easy to run out of things to say.
I don't completely understand my feelings,
But that's how I know they are the real thing.
Even when I lack the words to express them,
I know that you will always understand.
One look, one smile, that's all it takes.
Everything negative just simply fades away.
I could spend forever at your side,
Which is how I'm planning to spend my life.
Although there are variables all around,
I know the answers aren't always found.
There's n…

Tomorrow

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The chaos of yesterday brings clarity to tomorrow.
These mistakes we've already made, time we've already borrowed.
The choices that were made through impulse,
Instead of using the reasoning within us.
Fading into memories,
Both bitter and sweet.
Guidance can be found inside
The choices that make up our lives.
What to do, what to avoid.
Linger inside all that's destroyed.
In what has risen from the ruins,
A map of all those right doings.
Indescript, to each their own.
These are the lights that will guide you home.
The brightness depends on you alone,
On which path you choose to go.
Down every road, around every corner,
You will find a new tomorrow.
Stay on the same path you've been taking
If you like the mistakes you've been making.
Or set adift to blissful days,
Of cheerful birds and a sun, ablaze.
Everything you want is yours.
As long as you're willing to move forward.

Prevail

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My fortune said the lights would guide me home
But it's empty and I don't want to go alone.
If I called you tonight, would you even answer me
Or would you let the call go straight to the machine?
I know it's been a long time since we sat together
But I still think of you more than any other.
If I had one wish, you'd be here with me.
I'd see you more often than when I'm asleep.
You're a gem, more precious than any other.
I wish I could get my own shit together.
I hope you know I'm still thinking of you
Even after everything we put eachother through
We're no good for eachother and we both know it's true
But we're even worse the longer we deny the truth
Whether good or bad, we're in this together
This romance will last the span of forever.
I'd say that I mind and I have in the past
But I actually love knowing this will last.
You're one of the only constants I've had in my life.
You're still the substance that makes me feel …

The Red Truck

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I cringe every time I see a red truck. 
He tells me. At least he has a visual, a marker. He has some indication of the man he'd never have to deal with. He would never put himself in my shoes. To be worried about every girl I pass by because she may have shared the same moments with him that I have. To worry about the girl who sits next to me on the bus, who only lives a few doors down and gets off at the same stop as me. Maybe getting off the bus isn't the only ride we've both got off on. He doesn't know what it feels like to live in the constant shadow of unknowing. It could be anybody. 
But I don't argue. I don't even reply. How could I? I don't know how to reassure him. I wouldn't bother trying even if I knew the magic phrase to put his wandering mind to rest. I wouldn't give him that luxury. He doesn't deserve it. He wants to complain about the red truck that started appearing in our shared driveway. Mostly while he was at work, but never w…

Golden Trash

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I've been going through my writing, mainly to get posts scheduled up here. I just noticed today that it's been a year since I've written anything new. I can't even believe that. I haven't gone this long without writing my entire life. It's like I've completely abandoned my craft or something... Those of you who know me in person already know the love/hate relationship I share with my writing. Some of you who don't me that well may have picked up on that too. For those of you who don't know me: I have always felt like writing was a curse, a sickness. I had to write because my mind was so filled with thoughts and ideas that I had no room to think about anything else. I couldn't function on my day to day tasks if I wasn't writing the thoughts out of my head first. It's complicated to explain, but anyone who writes has some level of understanding what that means. 
Then I went to the doctor and I started taking pills. My creativity didn'…

Nobody Like You

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I've been looking to my dreams for answers because I'm not in touch with my soul anymore. I'm looking for signs, though I think I already know the answers. I've got you running through my mind when I'm awake and I can see you there when I'm dreaming. No matter what else is going on, I find my heart wanders in your direction. Psychology would say I'm holding on to your memory, but I don't remember a thing about the times we were together. I can't miss you, because you're not the same boy and I'm not the same girl we were back then. I don't know you any better than I know myself. I know the way I feel when I look at you. I know the butterflies and the stuttered words. I know looking away after making eye contact and blushing like I'm a kid again. I know those feelings and I know them well. Psychology would say it's because I'm not happy in my life with my responsibilities and I'm looking towards a simpler time and a simple…

The Judgement Day Celebration

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It was New Years Eve 1999 – also known to those who lived through it as Judgment Day or the Y2K. Apparently all the computers were going to blow up or something and the world was going to collapse. There weren't even that many computers back then. Only the government had them. I couldn't see how modern people were going to be affected. Banks reading at zero. Credit, zero. Everything kept in electronic databases, zero. Wouldn't that have been freedom, in Chuck Palahniuk's sense of the word? That sounds more like Nirvana then Doomsday. But, whatever. It didn't happen. What did happen, at least in my little spinning rock, was worse...
I sat fidgeting with the label on the Millers Draft in my hand. I didn't drink, but I couldn't refuse the beer when it was handed to me over an hour ago. It was past room temperature now, and lost any appeal. I had long stopped pretending to sip at it. I thought about how people were viewing me, sitting on the couch with this bot…