Chapter 12

Charlotte didn’t see James for a couple weeks after that. He wasn’t coming to school. He wouldn’t take anyone’s calls. He completely isolated himself. His mother would say he was fine, but her voice betrayed her with every word. She was just as worried. She just didn’t know what to do. No one did. Charlotte knew the only thing she could really do was give him space. She hoped he would make it through the dark patch and come out on the other side. She had to hope, for his sake.

When he finally came back to school, he looked good. Really good. Charlotte couldn’t believe her eyes. It was like he had gone to a month-long spa and come out a brand new version of himself. He quit the school band right away. Charlotte found out he had been hiding his drinking problem from everyone. She would not have guessed that was what had happened, but that’s what he told anyone who asked. He was completely open about his struggles, letting himself be vulnerable in front of anyone. Charlotte was happy that he was finally opening up, even if it wasn’t to her. He seemed to be getting closer to one of their classmates, Taylor. She was outwardly shy, but she was really nice when she warmed up to people. Her and James had so much in common. She was artistic too, and a bit of a free spirit. Charlotte could easily see why James would be attracted to her.

But there was a nagging feeling in her stomach that she couldn’t let go of. It kept building, until she finally broke down. Charlotte asked James if he would consider getting back with her.

“Charlotte, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, so please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’re the reason my life started falling apart.” He blurted. Charlotte was quiet.

“I don’t know how else I would take that.” She mumbled. He shook his head.

“It’s not you. It’s me. I don’t like who I am when we’re together. How angry I am all the time… You’re right, that wasn’t me. I never want to be that person again. I want to leave that part of me in the past, with you.” He sighed. She tried to choke back her tears, but it was no use. Her eyes opened like a flood gate. James quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him.

“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” He apologized. She nodded against his chest.

“You’re right.” She agreed. They were both quiet, just holding each other. Finally, he took a deep breath. He moved over and grabbed her hand.

“I’m going to ask out Taylor this weekend. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.” He announced. Charlotte felt her heart sink. She knew it was coming, but it didn’t soften the news. She nodded, but the tears kept flowing. She pulled her hand away.

“I appreciate that.” She wiped her eyes with the back of it. James stood up slowly.

“I meant what I said, I’ll always love you,” He paused looking down at her. She looked up him.

“But please, stay the hell away from me.” He finished. Charlotte nodded, letting her head drop down. She didn’t watch James walk away this time. She got up and headed in the opposite direction.

James did ask out Taylor. Charlotte heard the relationship was beautiful and they were really in love. She never got to see him at his happiest though. She had to move a few weeks later, starting over in a new city. Well, she didn’t start over completely. Sam’s family had relocated too. The two girls were ready to take on the city together and take everyone as prisoners. Together, they were going to be the unstoppable duo.

For New Years Eve, Charlotte wrote James a letter. It wasn’t begging for him to take her back. It wasn’t apologizing for all the mistakes she had made. It wasn’t even well wishes for the future. She wrote down exactly what she thought of him and their time together.

Thank you, James

You have been an inspiration to me. A friend. A confidante. You were anything I needed you to be. You taught me so many things about myself, and I’ll always appreciate you for that. I know it wasn’t easy to be together, but I hope you think it was worth the struggle too. In hindsight, maybe we loved each other too much. I know love shouldn’t have to hurt. I hope you’re not hurting now.

I always told you that you had the most beautiful eyes. I think I went as far as saying they were entrancing. But I never told you why I loved them so much. When I looked into your eyes, I could see the whole world. I could see the past, the present, and even the future. I could see every possible out come in every alternate Universe. It happened in flashes, like the big bang.

I wouldn’t trade our time line for any other. Every minute I was with you was a blessing. Maybe in another life, we’ll see our true potential. In this life, I hope your future is bright because you were the light in my Universe and you deserve the best.

Forever missing a piece of my heart,

Charlotte

She never sent it to him. She folded it and hid it in the back of one of her library books, intentionally leaving it in the library. In a city he had never been to, in a school he had never heard of. It didn’t matter if he knew how she felt; she just wanted to tell the Universe.