Chapter 30 (+18)

Hayden was looking forward to the summer break. She managed to pass all of her classes, though just barely. She knew she would have to put in twice the effort the following year. But her mind could drift from school work for a few weeks without being problematic. Rob also looked forward to the release from school. There was just a different pressure throughout the year. It wasn’t like either of them had a great start to the school year. Jessica made sure of that. She also swore to ruin their summer many times throughout the year. Unfortunately for Jessica, as soon as school ended, her family moved. They had to get away from the shame their daughter brought to the family. They moved to a new city to start over. Hayden and Rob would never have to see Jessica again. Ever. They were finally free.

Hayden woke up on Saturday morning and headed to the park behind her house. She had agreed to meet Rob later, but she wanted to play on the swing set. It wasn’t common that Hayden wanted to “play”. She had matured a long time ago. The childlike wonder had long faded. She could still find enjoyment in the swing set. It felt freeing as she came back down. She’d close her eyes tight and let the feelings flutter in her chest. She loved thinking when she was on the swings. She tried to imagine leaving her worries in the air and coming back down with a clean slate. It was silly, but it was a visual exercise she found helpful when she was under stress. She was a little worried about her relationship with Rob.

Now that summer was approaching, they would have more time to spend together. She worried that might increase the frequency of her thoughts about him. Writing had been a big help, but it was also encouraging those kinds of thoughts. She felt like there was a whole new pressure on the relationship. She didn’t want to feel that way though. It was just her insecurities. She had accepted that Rob wasn’t interested in sex.

After an hour, Hayden finally headed towards Rob’s place. She cut through the parking lot instead of taking the path. She headed to his front door and knocked loudly. She could hear movement on the other side of the door. A minute later, Anne opened the door. Hayden stepped into the house. Anne motioned upstairs, so Hayden made her way to Rob’s room. He was halfway down the stairs already. He smiled widely as he saw her. She followed him into his bedroom. He closed the door behind them. She raised her eyebrow as she turned to face him.

“What are you doing?” She asked softly. Rob stepped forward and kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body against his. She giggled at the sudden movement. He kissed her again, slowly backing her towards the bed. She fell backwards and he crawled on top of her.

“Rob?” She spoke softly. He kissed her again.

“I want to touch you.” He exhaled. Hayden nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I’m all yours.” She cooed, leaning up to kiss him. He grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. He tossed it to the floor. Hayden let out a quiet whimper. Rob kissed her again before trailing his lips down her torso. He kissed her stomach, slowly moving lower. He undid her zipper and she lifted her hips up. He slid her jeans down and threw them onto his floor. He pressed one of his fingers into the fabric of her underwear. She could feel his breath as he hovered above her panties. She looked down at him. His eyes were half closed as he kissed her through the fabric. She jerked into him, which made him smile. She tried to watch him, but her eyes kept fluttering closed. It felt too good to focus. Hayden put one of her hands on his head, wrapping her fingers through a lock of his hair. She draped her other arm over her face to silence the moaning that seemed to be getting louder. Rob slid two of his fingers past the fabric. It wasn’t long before Hayden was convulsing in his hand. She expected Rob to collapse on top of her. He normally would. Instead, he started undoing his zipper. Hayden watched in stunned silence as he dropped his boxers and pants to the floor. He climbed into the bed on top of her. Rob grabbed her by the waist and quickly pulled her underwear off.

“What are you doing?” She gasped. Rob kissed her. He leaned over and grabbed a condom from his night stand. He kissed her again before answering her.

“I need to be with you.” Rob moaned. Hayden’s eyes went wide. He didn’t give her a chance to protest as he lowered himself on top of her. He guided himself towards her opening. She let out a loud gasp as he slid inside her. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders.

“Does it hurt?” His voice was low. Hayden shook her head.

“It feels amazing.” She corrected. Rob nodded, slowly thrusting in deeper. Hayden lunged up and pressed her lips to his neck. She whimpered against his skin. He maintained eye contact as he lowered himself down on top of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He buried his head into her shoulder blade. His hands roamed over every inch of her body.

“Fuck.” She gasped. Rob lifted himself up to look at her.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” He offered. Hayden shook her head.

“Please don’t.” She begged. Rob nodded, leaning down and kissing her hard.

Hayden and Rob spent the whole day rolling naked in bed together. Their lips were red, raw, and swollen. Their bodies were fused together with sweat. They were a complete mess. Hayden couldn’t be happier. Even though they had been together for almost a year, this was the closest Hayden ever felt to Rob. Physically and emotionally. The real thing was better than any of Hayden’s fantasies. She thought she had captured Rob and the moment perfectly. Then it happened. It was even more exhilarating than she expected.

When everyone went to church on Sunday, Hayden headed over to Liz’s house. According to her parents, she was upstairs in her bedroom. Hayden knocked on the door and waited. She could hear the Spice Girls playing loudly on the other side of the door. She opened it and pushed it open. Liz was sitting at her vanity, painting make-up onto her face. Hayden knocked again on the open door. Liz jumped as she spun around to acknowledge her.

“What are you doing here?” She screeched. Hayden leaned against the door frame.

“I wanted to talk to you.” She answered softly. Liz got up from the bench and walked over to her bed. She tapped on the bed beside her. Hayden walked into the room and partially closed the door. Liz raised her eyebrow as Hayden sat down beside her.

“What’s wrong?” Liz asked softly. Hayden slowly shook her head.

“Nothing.” She assured. Liz nodded.

“Okay. So, what do you want to talk about?” She asked. Hayden bit the side of her lip.

“We had sex.” She announced. Liz raised her eyebrow again.

“Who had sex?” She questioned. Hayden pointed towards herself.

“Me and Rob.” She clarified. Liz’s jaw dropped open.

“What?” She screeched again. Hayden nodded.

“Yesterday.” She added. Liz jumped off the bed and started walking back and fourth.

“Oh my God.” She gasped, covering her mouth. She kept pacing as Hayden watched her.

“Does he know you’re telling me?” Liz asked, looking over. Hayden nodded.

“We spoke about it already.” She assured. Liz was quiet again, slowly sitting back down on the edge of her bed. She seemed to be processing Hayden’s announcement.

“I don’t even know what to say. Just, wow.” Liz mumbled. Hayden raised her eyebrow.

“You don’t see happy for me.” She noted. Liz shook her head.

“It’s not that. I just, hope you were safe.” She sighed. Hayden rolled her eyes.

“You’re not my mother, you know.” She reminded her friend. Liz shrugged.

“I care about you. I can be worried.” She insisted. Hayden nodded.

“Anne made sure we were prepared.” She assured. Liz raised her eyebrow.

“You guys spoke to her beforehand?” She questioned. Hayden nodded.

“It’s a long story, but, yes. We were safe about it.” She assured. Liz nodded.

“That’s all I can ask for.” She sighed. Both girls were quiet.

“Well, I mean, how was it?” Liz asked after a minute. Hayden smiled. She could tell it was a goofy grin by the way Liz was looking at her. She covered her mouth with her hand.

“It was, perfect.” Hayden gushed. Liz put one of her hands to her chest and nodded.

“I’m so glad it finally happened for you.”

Hayden spent a lot of the next week reading over her old journals. She read all the things she had written about Rob before. She had a whole new side of Rob to write about now. She had a whole new experience to write about. She knew she wanted to capture the first time as best as she could. She wrote with vivid detail in her journal. She wanted to remember that first time. She didn’t know if it was going to be a regular thing. She hoped it would happen again, at least a few times. She hoped it was as intense for him as it was for her. He had said it was, and she had no reason not to believe him.

Sex had been a bonding experience, the way Hayden had always hoped it would be. She had always trusted Rob, but this gave her a new sense of trust. She knew she could trust him in a completely different way. Not only with her heart, but with her body. Her feelings. Her pleasure. He was amazing at everything. Hayden knew that there was no one else who would ever make her feel the way Rob had. Even if she had other boyfriends in the future, none of them were going to compare to this one. He was the absolute best boyfriend anyone could have asked for. Hayden felt lucky to be the one to call him hers. She hoped she would be the only one.

The key to every successful relationship is good communication. Relationships that lack communication will always fall apart. You need to exhibit patience with your partner and build that trust. You need to be able to trust your partner, including with your emotions. You need to be able to depend on your partner, and have them be supportive of you. You have to be open and honest with your partner, even if it’s something they don’t want to hear.

When we get caught up in making the other person happy, we’ve already lost independence in the relationship. We become reliant. We become complacent. We let everything fall apart. There is no such thing as the “easy way” when it comes to relationships. Every single relationship takes hard work. It takes willingness. It takes perseverance. It takes patience. It takes time.

Of course, every relationship is different. There is no right or wrong answer. You have to do what you both feel is right. You have to take things at a pace that feels comfortable. Don’t rush ahead to the finish line because you’ll miss the entire journey. And remember: Always play safe.