ODAAT: Volume 2, Chapter 23

 

The Industry

If you've ever been in a band, you know the industry can be fickle. Music is a living creation. By itself, it can be a world of magic, transporting the listener to a different place. The writing process can do the same for its' creator, allowing the expression of feelings that might otherwise be bottled up. Music itself is a gift to all. But the music industry is nothing more than a monster. It feeds off the souls of those foolish enough to get close enough. Those who aspire to be musicians; take note. The industry isn't looking for creative individuals. They aren't looking for words that come from the heart or music the comes from the soul. They aren't interested in ideas or concepts. They are looking for products. They want music that can be manufactured. Names that sound good on the radio or in print. A look that fits with the style. They want a product they can sell. If you arrive with your heart in your hands, they will take it from you. If you express your real feelings, they will silence you. If you are opinionated, leave before you even walk through the door. Unless you offer a world of controversy, because that can sell. But you're an individual with ideals, you're never going to make it. The industry doesn't want any of that. They want little kids with big starry eyes who want to live the dream. As long as you can be sold, you can have the world at your feet.

There are some who try to change the industry – but I see more people fail than succeed.

Luke’s band was together for over five years before they announced they were breaking up. In that time, they had released four studio albums and three acoustic concept albums. The first two albums were rich with personality. They were penned from the heart and it showed. The band enjoyed playing together and there was no animosity among them. They were getting played on the radio. They had money and fame. But they were happy, even under the bright lights. At first. The third album came out as an apology. The front man having been under the bright lights for too long. He tried too hard to please the media outlets that offered criticism for his personal decisions. Although the band was doing well, he, personally, was not. He had created such a buzz around himself. He turned the band into a product, without ever stopping to ask them what they wanted. By the time their last album came out, they were broken. They had completely forgotten the reason they started playing music in the first place. Every member had turned against one another to the point they wouldn't speak off-camera. It started as an argument that the other members wanted more recognition. The front man had drawn too much attention to himself and it wasn't fair. He wasn't even the singer. He wasn't a fantastic bass player either. His only real contribution to the band was his lyrics. But, he was the only member with charisma. So, everyone wanted to see him front and center. He was asked every question during interviews. He was offered endorsement deals. He was given television appearances that didn't even include the band. That is why the animosity started growing between the members. Everything was about him, but it was never meant to be that way.

They started that band in the early 2000's with nothing in mind but playing. They sang songs for their friends and toured in the back of a white van that broke down on too many occasions. But they were happy, even when they were broke. Because they were doing what they loved to do. When it became a product, it became a job and there was nothing left to love. There was nothing left to hold onto. When you've got nothing to hold on to, you start to fall.

I watched as that band fell apart. I saw with my own eyes the bickering that took place off screen. For every show, they put on happy faces and attempted to act like everything was fine. But, they didn't even keep in touch. Their manager sent messages back and fourth whenever one of them needed another. The interviews were laced with snide comments and angered expressions. The members bit their tongues to avoid arguing in front of the cameras. But, behind them was another story. A story that truly shows the heart of the music industry and how it can tear apart even the strongest friendships. It was the front man's decision to end the band. He said the world needed a little less of him and bowed out of the spotlight. The other members went on to do their own thing, but he kept himself tucked away until he felt he was ready to start again.

The reunion of the band was a shock to the entire world. But, it was different the second time around. They knew what to expect and they had built armor to protect themselves. The front man stepped down, letting the other band members have the spotlight. He kept to himself in interviews and offered his screen-time to the others. They went back to making music that they loved. They fought the industry. But they didn't win. The years of silence took so much out of them that there was hardly anything left. The band may have pulled itself back together, but, the front man had to change everything about himself to get there.

That front man was Luke.

After the show at Madison Square Garden, I introduced him to everyone in the band. He already knew Frankie and Jared, so there was no need to make those introductions. He even knew Charlie from his early Illinois days. Crystal was the only person I actually introduced him to. There was a brief round of “what have you been up to” questions, before the rest of the band took off. I follow Luke to a small cafe outside of the venue. We both order coffees and I grab a blueberry muffin because I missed lunch. He seems to be at a loss for words, sitting down across from me.

“So, what brought you to the show? Or, Madison?” I ask.

“I heard you were in a band. I had to come check it out.” He answers, staring into his coffee cup. Like the answer to life is at the bottom.

“What did you think?” I question, picking at the muffin. He shrugs.

“It's funny you should ask that. I actually came here to tell you exactly what I thought.” He starts, laughing to himself. I raise my eyebrow, staring at him from across the table.

“I had this big grand speech planned. I was going to warn you about the dangers of this fucked up industry. About how soul-sucking these labels can be. Or, how draining this lifestyle is. I know you've been around it before. But, you were, well,” He pauses and looks down at the table. I roll my eyes, trying not to feel insulted. He likes to forget I was a big help over the reunion tour. Instead, he lets his mind focus on the first few tours I went with him on. Back then, his manager was paying me to keep him out of trouble. I suppose I was a high class call girl, but I worked for the money too. I didn't stand around doing nothing, even though I could have. I still had my dignity, even though I had no self-esteem. Of course, I also thought I was in love at the time. But, that wasn't love. He, wasn't love.

“I know all of that, Luke.” I remind him, letting pieces of my muffin fall on the table. He shakes his head, slowly sipping at his coffee. When he looks up, I notice there's a pain in his eyes.

“I just, wouldn't want the same things to happen to you. I went through so much, we went through so much. You deserve better than this life.” He assures. I smile, reaching for his hand.

“Thank you for your concern, but, we know what we're getting into. We're not just a band. We're a family.” I offer. He laughs.

“Yeah. I heard about you and Frankie, the pending wedding.” He mumbles, seeming distracted.

“Crystal and Charlie are together too.” I add, smiling as I take my hand back. His eyes go wide.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He barks, his voice raising in volume. I shake my head.

“We're a family.” I repeat, but it's met with more laughter.

“I don't believe in the whole 'family enterprise' thing. It's ridiculous.” He argues, talking with his hands. He goes into a rant about how unreliable Charlie is and how Frankie was always a basket case. I only listen with half of my heart, entertaining his rambling. I know where he's coming from. The entertainment industry can ruin families. It can ruin relationships. Hell, it ruins people too. Luke is a shining example of all three. But, he doesn't understand where I'm coming from. Frankie doesn't have a label to answer to. He can replace his label at the drop of a hat, and has. He has done his part of bending and breaking. He rose above it, made his own claim to fame. He makes the music he wants to make and the label he's signed to simply puts their heads down and lets him. They get no say, as long as his records sell a certain amount. He sure knows how to bargain. I wish I had that bargaining skill when Hunter was first starting out. I would have got him better record deals. I would have made sure he had more creative freedoms and room to breathe. I would have made sure his contract couldn't be the death of him. But I didn't know anything, neither did Hunter. A few years later, and we're experts.

“I've got to get going. We're leaving for Des Moises in half an hour. I can't hold them up.” I announce, standing up.

“Yeah. Tight schedules.” He agrees, also standing up.

“I'll walk you back.” He volunteers and I nod to be polite. The walk is in silence, and I look around the darkened streets. There are still a few people milling around outside of the venue, but most of them have cleared out. We parked the tour bus around the corner, trying to hide it from the view of the public. We didn't want to be harassed by fans. Luke stops when we approach the tour bus.

“I'm sorry if I came on too strong. I know you're independent. I know I'm paranoid. But I worry. I mean, really, I don't want to see you go through the same thing. And, given your history with Jared.” He pauses, looking down at the ground. I take a deep breath.

“If I hid from anything that could hurt me, I wouldn't do anything.”