ODAAT: Volume 2, Chapter 27

 

The Show Must Go On

We're impatiently waiting in the dressing room of the venue in Cincinnati. We still haven't heard from Frankie. His now-assistant manager is consistently checking reports from Detroit. She's calling the hotel every couple hours. She's even started calling random numbers in the Detroit phone book with the hopes of finding him. So far, she's had no luck and there's only an hour before we're heading on stage. Between phone calls, she's asking me if this is typical behavior for Frankie. If he's often gone missing in action. She's been on this tour too. She knows he hasn't taken off before. But she's a representative from his new label. She doesn't know his typical behavior. I ignore her rambling about how much trouble we're going to be in if he doesn't show up. I leave the worrying to her. The rest of us are getting ready for the show.

The opening band is some local group that was able to come last minute. Usually, Jared does the opening set before joining us. But, tonight we need his vocal chords. We can't let him strain his voice by opening. Right now, he is walking around the dressing room doing a vocal warm up. He's been doing this for almost 45 minutes. He's looking at the set list and singing a verse from every song. He's trying to make sure he remembers all the words. Crystal is still freaking out, claiming something must have happened to him. Charlie is doing his best to keep her relatively calm. He's taken her for three walks since we got here, insisting the fresh air would help. It seems to, temporarily. I understand why everyone is on edge though. It's an awkward situation. I think Frankie just forgot who he was for the night. Maybe with James he feels like a different version of himself. He entered a different world. But, he'll come back to this one. He'll be here before the show starts. He has to be. This is his band and his life. His entire career is on the line. He'll be here.

The support band wraps up and joins us in the dressing room. They are joined by a handful of friends and family members, milling around the room. Everyone cracks open beers and celebrates the exposure. There's an atmosphere of celebration all around us, but none of us can feel the vibe. We're too busy panicking internally. The singer of the support band, Justin, is asking about our usual support band. Our manager is rattling off a story about how they couldn't make it tonight. Jared is staring down at the ground, awkward and out of place. He can't believe this is happening. Neither can anyone else. Joe comes into the dressing room, motioning towards us.

“It's time to go on.” He calls, looking around the room.

“He here?” He asks, and I shake my head. I tap Jared on the shoulder and we head towards the stage. Crystal walks into the lights first. She's followed closely by Charlie. Jared hesitates, looking around the dressing room. I gently grab his hand, offering a supportive smile.

“You'll be great.” I promise him. He nods, taking a deep breath. I walk onto the stage before him, but he follows closely. Joe hands him his guitar and he walks up to the microphone.

“Thank you for coming out tonight.” Jared calls into the little metal ball. There's a loud chorus throughout the audience, who seem pleased to see Jared in the spotlight.

“Frankie couldn't make it tonight, due to a bad cough.” He pauses and the audience boos.

“Yes, I know. It's unfortunate. But, we want him to get better, so we're letting him rest.” He adds.

“So, for tonight, you've got this gorgeous devil instead.” Crystal yells from behind her drum set. There's more cheering from the otherwise restless crowd. Jared flashes a smile in Crystal's direction and she yells the 1, 2, 3. Jared kicks off into the first song on the set list and the audience cheers even louder. I can see Jared is intimidated by the bright lights. It's one thing to play guitar and sing in the background. There's a whole other pressure when you're playing guitar and singing lead. By the third song, Jared seems to have warmed up to the idea. His movements are fluid and he's actually looking at the crowd. Charlie breaks into a random guitar solo at the end of the song. Jared copies him and they do a five minute epic of strings. The next song on the list is one that I sing with Frankie. When I'm not on stage playing, I come out for this song. We didn't even think about taking it off the set list. When Charlie announces it, I suddenly feel an uncomfortable shift. Jared starts the song, singing into his own microphone. Half way through the song, he's sharing mine. Although the words were written by someone else, I feel a connection. I know Jared feels it too when he looks into my eyes. I smile through the chorus, without even thinking. Then, he moves back to his microphone and we finish the song.

Aside from the absence of our singer, it's the best show we've put on.

After the show, we join the support band in the dressing room. Our crew, on the other hand, heads to the hotel for that hotel night they were looking forward to. Justin and Charlie make it through a case of beer within an hour. Crystal goes through a bottle of wine to herself. Everyone is laughing and chatting and having a good time. We're congratulated on the success of the show, even by the manager. The whole time, Crystal is entertaining everyone in the room with random tour stories. She gushes about the Halloween party we went to, how she made me dress up with her. She talks about the time she met Alice Cooper. She has a bunch of stories that the average person wouldn't have and she just keeps talking. She has the attention of everyone in the room, which makes the air feel lighter. The more she talks, the easier it becomes to ignore the situation.

But it's not just Frankie's absence we're avoiding. Jared and I dodge looking at each other, afraid our eyes will say what our lips can't brave. There's a new kind of energy between us. A new kind of connection. It was more than just a good duet. We worked. We worked in a way I never could have imagined. I know he felt it too. We could keep doing this if we had to. It works without Frankie. Maybe, other things would too.

We all go our separate ways after about two hours. Crystal and Charlie head to the hotel, while Jared and me linger around the empty venue. We're sitting on the edge of the stage with our feet dangling in the air. I would say we're waiting for Frankie to show, but I think we want to hold on to the magic for a little while longer. In case it doesn't follow us when we leave.

“I can't believe he didn't show up.” Jared mumbles, still looking around. The floor is littered with bottles of water and red solo cups. Discarded and abandoned after briefly being loved.

“Me either.” I agree, not knowing what else to say. I want to be reassuring. I want to offer him something, anything, to take his mind off this. But, there's nothing I can do. We both know Frankie well enough to know this isn't like him. He's never just, disappeared. That's more our style. But, he has. So, we're left wondering what it means, and not just for the band.

“Let's get going.” I insist, nudging his shoulder with mine. He sighs, but nods, climbing back up to his feet. I jump up, following him towards the exit. There's a light rain outside, which neither of us had expected. But, it's half-way through May and the rain is warm. I hail a taxi when we're outside, climbing into the back seat. Jared climbs in behind me, rattling off the address for the hotel.

“You know, I've got to admit,” He starts, looking out the window at the rain rolling down the glass.

“It felt good. It felt,” He pauses. I smile, looking over at him. I put my hand on his knee and he puts his hand on top of mine. We wrap our fingers together and he looks over.

“Natural?” I offer. He looks at our hands, then back at me. There's a smile on his face when he does.

“No. It felt right.” He corrects.