ODAAT: Volume 2, Chapter 29

 

Silent Sound Check

Crystal didn't move from her bunk until we arrived in Harrisburg. Even then, I had to convince her to brave the world outside her curtain. I only saw Jared once, but he came out when Christopher announced we were at the venue. Needless to say, it was an awkward trip. It didn't get any easier during sound check either. Crystal was still so angry she refused to even look at Frankie. If he would try talking to her, she would blatantly ignore him. It was childish, her way of coping I suppose. On the rare occasion she had to acknowledge him, she shot daggers in his direction.

Luckily, Charlie decided to resume his neutral approach. He apologized for his reserved reaction earlier, aiming the apology at James. After all, he was greeted with a cold shoulder by everyone. They spent most of the sound check making jokes back and fourth. Charlie was only upset because of Crystal and Jared. Like me, he thought the show was better without Frankie anyway.

We're finishing sound check when Crystal pulls me out into the hallway. She's pacing back and fourth.

“I'm going to take a walk.” She announces, biting and pulling at her nails. I nod, looking towards the stage.

“I'll be back in time for the show. Don't worry.” She assures. I nod.

“I wasn't.” I answer loosely. She nods.

“Good. You know I won't put everything at risk, like some people.” She assures, trying to turn her sour expression sweet. She fails, but I understand where she's coming from. I don't want to argue her, anyway. I don't need this sudden burst of anger to be directed towards me. I nod, and she heads further down the hallway, pausing before she reaches the exit. I head back to the group. Charlie has already headed towards the door, but he stops. He looks over at Jared, and motions for him to follow. Jared jumps up without a second thought and they head after Crystal. He also pauses at the door, looking over at me. I shake my head, motioning for him to go. He looks down at the floor, like he's debating his abandonment of me. But then he looks up and nods and he's gone. I drop down on the couch beside James. His arm is stretched across the back of the couch, but he adjusts himself when I sit down. He leans forward, looking over at me.

“Are they always like this?” He asks, motioning towards the empty doorway. I shake my head slowly.

“No. But, I guess you don't know what people are actually capable of until it happens.” I pause, looking at Frankie. He's sitting on the couch opposite of us, leaning back.

“Okay, everyone is pissed. I get that. But, like, why? I missed one show. It's the first time I've ever bailed on you guys. I just,” He pauses leaning forward. He presses his elbows into his knees and covers his face with both of his hands. When they drop down, there's a sad expression on his face.

“I don't understand why everyone is mad at me.” He finishes, a pout now on his face. I shake my head.

“Firstly, you bailed. You left us no instructions, or peace of mind. You could have told the reception desk to let us know you were checking out. But you didn't. You didn't tell us anything. We had to find out for ourselves. Then, you made no attempt to call any of us. I know the reception is bad on the road, but you know damn well Christine has a satellite phone. You could have called. But you didn't. Instead, you left us wondering what happened. If you disappeared, or worse. What if something had happened to you, Frank?” I try explaining. He shakes his head, like he hadn't thought of that.

“Okay, I dropped the ball. But, I mean, is that really a reason for this reaction?” He asks. I shrug again.

“I don't know. Consider how you might have felt in our shoes. How worried you might have been. Or how pissed you would have been having to carry the show, like Jared. Do you have any idea how he felt about being forced on the center of the stage?” I add. His eyes go wide and his hands drop.

“What?” He questions, a crack in his voice. His eyebrows are knitted together, emphasizing his confusion. I close my eyes and look up at the ceiling. The bright lights blind me, but my eyes feel open now.

“What did you think? We were going to cancel the show?” I ask, holding back laughter. I know the answer by the look on his face. That's exactly what he thought we had done.

“Christine would never allow that. Even with the atmosphere. Even with your absence. Canceling the show could have ruined your reputation. As it is, you're on thin ice with this new management company. Especially after this disappearing act.” I correct. He lets out a deep sigh.

“I don't care what they think. Let them drop me. I cant find a new label. I did.” He mutters. I nod, leaning forward.

“What about your fans, Frank? The ones who waited around for three hours before the concert, just to get a glimpse of the star attraction, only to be disappointed because you never even showed up.” I pause, and I can tell he's about to disregard the fans as well. I put my finger in the air to silence him. I don't want to hear it.

“What about us then?” I finish. The reason Jared and I stayed behind at the venue was to try and make it up to the audience. We signed autographs for as many of the fans as we could. We entertained conversation with those who were hanging around. Jared felt bad about the main attraction not showing up. I tried to tell him that the fans seemed happy to have him as a replacement. But there were a few people who were disappointed. Many of the fans who stayed behind just wanted us to tell Frankie to feel better. It was awkward, because we both knew that Frankie was fine. Jared was always awkward with his fans. Shy and uncomfortable. It's what he's known for. Even though he's worked on his interactions, it's hard when the fans weren't even his. They weren't there to see him, but a man who didn't bother showing up. Two of the people who came up to us after the show had actually come out to see Jared. They got more than their monies worth.

“I don't know. I just, don't understand.” He mumbles, covering his face again. I shrug, leaning back against the couch.

“You don't have to understand. But you have to accept that it's going to take more than a 'I lost track of time' excuse to get out of this. For example, a real fucking answer.” I add. The boldness of the statement catches his attention and he looks up at me.

“I just, wasn't thinking.” He repeats, now looking at James. He shrugs, exaggerating his arms.

“I don't know what to say man. It's not my band.” He dismisses.

Frankie nods, then raises his eyebrow.

“Why aren't you angry and avoiding me like everyone else?” He asks, seeming confused. I shrug.

“Well, I guess I believe you have your reasons for your lack of reaction. Plus, I'd like to keep this ship from sinking, if that's possible. And, I guess I have to be there for Jared because you haven't been. Do you have any idea what you did to that poor kid?” I sigh, only considering it now. I haven't thought too much about how Jared was taking Frankie's absence. I couldn't focus on any of the negatives of the situation. All I could think about was how perfect Jared and I were on that stage. How perfect we are together, despite everything that has happened. We actually work, and it only became obvious because of Frankie's disappearing act.

“He goes out on stage every night. Besides, he wants to get back into music. He has to be used to being the center of attention, right? It's good for him.” He dismisses. I shake my head.

“It's not just the performance, Frank.” I argue. He looks confused, so I look over at James, biting the side of my lip.

“There are other reasons Jared might be concerned.” I suggest, trying to hint at my point. I don't know if James is aware that Jared and Frankie are an item. I don't want to be the one to tell him if he isn't. The last thing I need is that drama on top of everything else.

“Fuck.” Frankie mutters, covering his face again.

“So, let's try this again. What happened?” I ask, letting my voice be as soothing as possible. He shakes his head, like he doesn't want to talk about it. When he looks up, he's not looking at me. He's looking at James, like he might have an answer. He shakes his head again.

“I don't know what to say.” He sighs, dropping his hands into his lap. Frankie nods, looking at me. I shake my head, motioning to the door.

“I suggest you figure it out.”