Chapter 2

Hayden couldn’t focus throughout second period. She kept thinking of Rob. This wasn’t the first time Jessica threatened to kill herself. Rob didn’t act this way the last time she did it. Hayden had no idea what had crawled under his skin, but she wanted to scratch it out. She missed her best friend. When the bell rang, it pulled Hayden out of her thoughts. Class was over and she had no idea what the lesson had been. It was a good thing she was such a good student, she could afford to miss the occasional information without it hurting her grades. She scrambled up, collecting all of her stuff from the top of her desk. She walked with a quick pace towards the cafeteria. She was hoping that Rob would already be there. He was, but he wasn’t alone. Jessica was draped over his shoulder like nothing was wrong. Rob looked no better than he had during first period. Hayden was slow in approaching the pair. Brent was already at the other end of the table with his dumb and obnoxious friends. Hayden sat across from Rob, offering Jessica a fake smile. Jessica didn’t know it was fake. She was oblivious.

“Hey.” Hayden greeted, mostly just to break the gloomy silence. Jessica released Rob from her grip and turned to face Hayden. She dropped her hands down on the table.

“Are you coming to my party next week?” She asked loudly. She likely wanted to be overheard so that other people would hear about this party she was planning. Hayden shrugged.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to come.” She mumbled. Jessica waved her hand around.

“Of course I do. You’re like, my best friend.” She cooed. Hayden nodded.

“You too.” She replied dismissively. Jessica didn’t notice. She returned her attention to Rob.

“And you better be there.” She playfully scolded. Rob nodded.

“Of course.” He agreed. Hayden rolled her eyes internally. Jessica was always throwing parties. Her parents were never home. She lived in a big house in the nice neighborhood behind ours. If it weren’t for school, none of them would even know who Jessica was. They went to the same school for 7/8. High school wasn’t exactly a new crowd of students for any of them. They recognized everyone. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as most first years of high school are. Hayden was grateful because she had heard a lot of scary stories about starting high school. None of it had been applicable to her school.

“Brent, are you coming to my party on Saturday?” Jessica screeched to the other end of the table. Brent gave a thumbs up. Hayden looked over at Brent, then back at Jessica.

“Why would you invite him?” She groaned. Jessica shrugged.

“He’s cute.” She defended. Hayden shook her head.

“He’s my brother.” Rob mumbled. Jessica nodded.

“That’s why he’s cute. He looks like you.” She tried reasoning. Rob wasn’t convinced, but he didn’t push the issue either. He was quiet for the rest of the lunch period, while Jessica rambled about her plans. She seemed to be in really good spirits for someone who was depressed and suicidal. Hayden wondered if she knew anything about the illness she pretended to have. She knew Rob did. He had an older friend who suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts. He wasn’t sad, but he wasn’t all there. It was like he was a vacant shell. It was sad to see, but he seemed to be indifferent. Hayden figured that Rob looked up to him, mostly because he was still accomplishing his dreams even though he was being dragged down by this invisible illness. Hayden thought it was cool too. She didn’t understand the depth of his projects, because it just wasn’t something she was into. It was welding and it seemed dangerous. Rob seemed to thrive in dangerous conditions, given his choice of a partner.

Hayden was almost to her third period class when Wayne stopped her. She looked him up and down and shook her head. She tried to step around him. He put his hand on her shoulder.

“Hayden?” He asked. She paused and turned to look at him.

“Yes?” She questioned. He bashfully looked down at the floor.

“Do you want to, I mean, will you, be my date for Jessica’s party?” He stuttered. Hayden’s face was a blank expression. She wasn’t used to boys showing her any kind of attention. She honestly didn’t know how to process it. She blinked and shook her head again.

“Me?” She asked for clarification. He chuckled.

“Yeah, you.” He answered. She shrugged.

“I wasn’t going, but, uh, yeah.” She agreed. Wayne nodded with excitement.

“Okay. I’ll talk to you Friday night.” He handed her a piece of paper, then headed to his own third period. Hayden unfolded it to see he had written his phone number down. She folded it up and put it in her back pocket. Because of Wayne’s invitation, she was distracted during third period too. She was completely disoriented. Before she knew it, third was over too. It was time to meet Rob for their final period. Usually, Hayden would look forward to fourth. It meant it was almost time to go home, and her and Rob were usually science partners. Instead, she found herself dreading further interaction with him. She wasn’t sure what that was about. She figured it was just his bad mood dampening hers too. She was relieved when she got to the classroom and saw there was a printed note taped to the door. The science teacher had a personal emergency and needed to leave. For anyone who had that class as their fourth, it was the end of the day. Hayden waited around the classroom to see if Rob was going to show up. After 5 minutes, he finally appeared in the hallway. Hayden motioned to the door.

“Class is canceled.” She announced, saving him the final few steps. Rob stopped.

“Really?” He asked. Hayden shrugged as she started walking towards the exit. Rob turned around and started following her. They were both quiet until they got outside.

“Wayne asked me to be his date to Jessica’s party.” She announced. Rob stopped walking.

“What?” Hayden asked, turning to face him. Rob shook his head.

“Nothing.” He tried dismissing. Hayden reached forward and put her hand on his shoulder.

“Rob, what is it?” She asked softly.

“I think I just have a lot on my mind.” He sighed as he started walking again. She followed his lead. His pace seemed to pick up and Hayden was struggling to keep up with him.

“Rob, wait up.” She groaned. Her bag was falling off her back and she jogged down the sidewalk after him. He stopped walking just long enough for her to catch up. Once she did, he kept going. They walked in silence until the reached the corner of Grennon and Carling. Usually, Rob would walk her home. Today, he was turning down his own street. He paused, looking over.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. Hayden watched him disappear down the street. She could tell he was in a rush to get home, but she didn’t understand it at all. It would be nice to be home for an hour without Brent’s drama. But, Rob always came over after school. She shook her head and tapped the button. It took forever to get a walking light. She crossed the street and headed inside the store on the corner. She felt like she needed a treat. She grabbed a handful of the candies under the counter. The clerk rang it up and she ate most of her candy before she got to her house.

“You’re kinda obsessed.” Elizabeth groaned. Hayden shook her head.

“I’m sorry you don’t have a best friend.” She argued. Elizabeth put one of her hands over her chest.

“I thought you were my best friend.” She exclaimed. Hayden rolled her eyes at the drama queen. At least it was all pretend with her, unlike Jessica.

“At least it’s mutual.” Samantha chimed in, barely looking up from the teen magazine in her hand.

“What?” Hayden squeaked. Samantha put the magazine down.

“Can you not see the way that boy looks at you?” She accused. Hayden shrugged.

“I’ve never noticed anything. I’m pretty receptive.” She argued. Samantha shook her head.

“It’s not about receptiveness. You’re too close to the situation, which can blind people to the truth around them.” She rambled. Elizabeth looked over and shook her head.

“This is why you have trouble making friends.” She observed. Samantha shrugged.

“I don’t need more friends. I have you two.” She assured. Elizabeth faked a smile. She didn’t really like Samantha. She only tolerated her because she was Hayden’s friend from childhood. Otherwise, Samantha would not be on her list of people to hang out with. She didn’t mean to sound pretentious, but she did. She didn’t come from a wealthy enough family for that kind of attitude either. She was from a poor family like the rest of them. It was something Elizabeth found deeply disturbing. Mostly because she just didn’t understand why Samantha thought she was better than everyone else. She was a spoiled brat who wasn’t spoiled. It didn’t make any sense.

“It’s healthy to have different friend groups.” Hayden corrected. Samantha shrugged.

“I have my book friends.” She corrected. Hayden laughed.

“You can’t consider the characters in the books you read as friends. If that were the case, you’d have a Prince for a boyfriend and you’d be sailing the 7 seas on a pirate ship with him.” She teased.

“Maybe I am.” Samantha insisted. Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

“You said he was upset after you told him about Wayne?” Samantha repeated. Hayden shook her head.

“He was upset all day. Then I told him about Wayne.” She corrected. Samantha nodded.

“It’s jealousy.” She repeated. Hayden kept shaking her head as she directed her attention to Elizabeth.

“Have you ever been on a date?” She asked. Elizabeth shook her head.

“Not unless we count the boy-girl party my parents threw me a couple years ago.” She sighed.

“And you?” Hayden asked Samantha. She shook her head.

“Damn it.” Hayden sighed. Samantha shrugged.

“My mom said I can’t date until I’m 18.” She added. Elizabeth nodded.

“Mine too.” She agreed. Hayden was quiet. She had made a similar promise, but it wasn’t to her mother. It was to herself. She didn’t want to be one of the people who threw her life away for a romantic interest. She wanted to pursue her academics. She wanted to have a career. She wanted to buy a house and move out of the poorest neighborhood in town. She didn’t want to settle for the life she had been given. She wanted to fight for the life she wanted. She knew dating would only get in the way of that. So she gave herself the parameters that she had to be finished high school before she entertained a real relationship. She wasn’t sure this counted as a date, since it was a party and so many people would be going. Rob was going, but it wasn’t like they would be on a date. It was a casual thing. She was just overthinking, like usual. She often found herself overthinking. Even when she tried to control her thoughts, she was overwhelmed by how fast new ones would appear.

“You know who you could ask,” Samantha paused. Hayden looked over at her and raised an eyebrow.

“I’m listening.” She encouraged. Samantha nodded.

“James or Amy.” She suggested. Hayden bit the side of her lip. James was Jessica’s older brother and Amy was his girlfriend of 5 years. They had met in high school. They were talking about getting married, but with no definitive plans. They were much older, but not so old that they weren’t cool anymore. Hayden decided that was the best way to find out about dating and sex.