Chapter 21

Hayden was sitting alone at a table in the cafeteria when Brent dropped down beside her.

“I tried talking to him.” He started. Hayden nodded for him to continue. Brent shook his head.

“I don’t know that I made anything better or worse. I couldn’t read him at all. It was like talking to a wall. I’ve never seen him that way.” Brent rambled. Hayden kept nodding.

“He’s defensive. His trust was breached.” She simplified. Brent let out a deep sigh.

“I didn’t mean anything by it.” He groaned as he dropped his head backwards. Hayden half-smiled.

“I believe you.” She assured. Brent put both his hands on top of his head and looked over.

“What do we do?” He asked. Hayden shook her head. There was no instruction manual for moments like this. They both sat in silence for a few minutes.

“I think I need to tell Liz. In case he tries to.” Brent blurted. Hayden raised her eyebrow.

“Do you really think he’s that petty?” She questioned. Brent shook his head.

“Not petty. Hurt.” He corrected. Hayden looked down at her lunch on the table. She wasn’t feeling hungry before Brent approached her. She definitely had no appetite left. She packed back up her lunch and pushed it to the side. She crossed her arms on the table in front of her and rested her head down.

“I don’t know what he’s going to do.” Brent added. Hayden sighed.

“Go ahead. Tell Liz. If she hates me, fine. I can lose both of my best friends. It’s fine.” Hayden complained dramatically. Brent shook his head.

“I promise Rob will come around.” He insisted. Hayden faked a smile. It was a nice thought, but Brent didn’t know the whole story. In Rob’s eyes, Hayden broke his trust twice in the same week. Even if it wasn’t entirely true, she knew it’s what he believed in his heart.

“Yeah. Tell Liz.” She finally agreed. She didn’t know what Rob would be capable of if he felt betrayed enough. Under normal circumstances, Hayden would never have to worry about Rob going behind her back. But if he felt that was what she did to him, he might change his attitude.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Brent asked. Hayden smiled as she nodded her head.

“Thank you, for caring.” She added. Brent nodded, then slowly got up from the table. He looked at Hayden again before finally walking away. Hayden figured Liz was probably waiting outside already. Maybe she would storm in and make a scene because it wasn’t her school. She wouldn’t be afraid of other people’s opinions of her. She could be as crazy as she wanted. Of course, Hayden didn’t know Liz to be crazy and unreasonable. She wasn’t like Jessica at all. She was calm and collected. She weighed out the consequences of her decisions. Hayden was wrong. A few minutes later, the doors flew open and Elizabeth came running towards Hayden. Hayden braced herself. Elizabeth smacked her shoulder.

“How dare you!” She screeched, dramatically dropping down on the bench beside Hayden. She was confused, raising her eyebrow. She looked over Liz’s shoulder at Brent. He shrugged.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed. But it made sense at the time. It was stupid. It’s not even like I’m attracted to Brent. I love Rob.” Hayden apologized. Elizabeth shook her head.

“That’s what I’m talking about. Why didn’t you tell me you were already having sex?” She asked under her breath. Hayden’s eyes went wide.

“We’re not.” She tried to correct. Elizabeth crossed her arms and shook her head.

“I can’t believe you wouldn’t gush.” She whined. Hayden sighed.

“Rob’s a private person. He doesn’t want anyone knowing his business. It’s not my place to say anything.” Hayden tried reasoning. Elizabeth laughed.

“It’s your business too, dork.” She corrected. Hayden went to argue, but realized she was right.

“I get it. But, it’s just disappointing.” Liz huffed. Hayden laughed.

“Would you tell me?” She countered. Elizabeth nodded excessively.

“Of course I will. When that magic moment finally happens, there isn’t a soul I wouldn’t tell!” She screeched. Hayden covered one of her ears to make a point. Elizabeth faked a smile.

“I just feel like we’re drifting apart. I mean, why else would you kiss my boyfriend?” She joked. Hayden sighed and looked back down at the table.

“I’m just teasing you.” Elizabeth assured.

“I’m glad you can joke about it already.” Hayden shook her head. Elizabeth put one of her hands on Hayden’s shoulder and gently squeezed. Hayden looked over.

“Rob will come around.” Liz assured. Hayden faked a smile. It’s like no one knew Rob, except her.

Rob waited three days before finally calling Hayden. He called when he knew no one would be home and left a message on her answering machine. He simplified the situation and said he was hurt and needed time. That was it. Hayden tried to call him back as soon as she got the message. Anne told her he wasn’t taking any phone calls, but she’d pass along that Hayden called. That was really all Hayden could hope for. The only other thing she could try was writing him a letter and giving it to Brent. He’d deliver it for her. He’d have to. He was the reason she was in the uncomfortable situation to begin with. He was the one who came to her. She didn’t approach him. She didn’t ask him. She wasn’t thinking about him before he asked or anything.

Hayden realized that was the reason she felt so guilty. It wasn’t because she kissed Brent. It was because she wanted to kiss Brent. She had thought of it many times before he asked her. Rob knew that. She had already told him. Brent didn’t know a thing about the situation. Hayden should have realized that it was going to be a big deal to Rob. She couldn’t say anything about that in her letter, in case Brent decided to read it before he delivered it. Hayden wasn’t sure he wouldn’t. She didn’t really take time to get to know Brent. She was always around him, but she was always focused on Rob. She was so focused on Rob, she wasn’t even considering how the situation might be affecting Brent. She hadn’t spoke to Elizabeth either. She had been completely self-involved, thinking about how to get Rob to forgive her. Hayden put her notebook away and stopped writing for the night.

The next day at school, Elizabeth joined Brent in the cafeteria. Instead of sitting with the group they would usually sit with, the pair sat down across from Hayden. At first, she was caught off guard. She was getting used to sitting alone since Rob was absent. She knew Anne was going to force him to come back to school eventually, but that didn’t mean anything about eating lunch together. Rob was going to avoid her until he had a reason not to.

“Hey.” Hayden greeted. She tried to sound cheery, but it came out forced. Liz faked a smile.

“He’s still not talking to you?” She asked softly. Hayden shook her head.

“He says he needs more time.” Brent added. Elizabeth shook her head.

“He’s being a brat.” She blurted. Hayden raised her eyebrow.

“How do you figure that?” She questioned. Elizabeth shrugged, but she was lost in her thoughts.

“I just think he’s overreacting.” She clarified. Hayden nodded.

“There are layers to the situation.” She defended. Elizabeth shook her head.

“No. You’re supposed to be friends first. He shouldn’t be giving you the cold shoulder. It’s immature.” Elizabeth reasoned. Hayden couldn’t argue her. She wasn’t wrong. Even if the situation was complicated, it wasn’t going to be solved with a lack of communication. Hayden knew they were going to have to talk about what happened. She was going to have to answer all his questions about why. She was going to have to be honest too. That was what a real relationship was to Hayden. Even if that honesty was going to hurt the other person, it was important. If Rob was ending the relationship, he needed to tell Hayden. They needed to move on, as friends.

Elizabeth and Brent made it a point to sit with Hayden moving forward. Every day at lunch, Elizabeth met Hayden and Brent outside and the three made their way to their regular table. It was becoming a nice routine. Hayden was getting to know Brent better, and getting to spend more time with Elizabeth. They had even started trading collector’s cards over the lunch period. Hayden and Elizabeth both collected Spice Girl photo cards. When one girl got a duplicate, they gave it to the other. It was a strange hobby, but something they both loved doing. Brent just sat around and smiled whenever the cards were on the table. He did something similar with Pokemon cards and his friends, so he understood where the obsession came from.

Finally, the weekend rolled around. Hayden expected a boring Saturday in the house. It was too cold to be outside. Elizabeth was at hockey with Brent, like every other Saturday. Elizabeth had invited Hayden to come along this time. Hayden was worried Rob might be going, so she decided she would stay home. She was thinking about joining them next time. She didn’t really know anything about hockey. Brent was pretty passionate about it though. Elizabeth said he was great on the ice, but Hayden didn’t really know what that meant in practice.

She was sitting in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons with Hannah. Hannah was singing along loudly to the theme song, but Hayden could hear the door. She laughed as she walked in front of the TV and Hannah crossed her arms. She immediately went back to singing once Hayden moved. She rolled her eyes and headed to the door. She was surprised to see Rob standing on the front step. She froze a bit, not sure of what to do next. She shook her head and motioned for him to come inside. He faked a smile as he stepped forward.

“Hey Hannah.” He greeted around the corner. Hannah waved, but kept her focus on the TV. Hayden crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the hallway wall.

“What’s up?” She asked, trying to sound casual. Rob motioned towards the basement.

“Can we talk?” He mumbled. Hayden nodded. Rob took his coat off and hung it up on the coat rack. Hayden led him down to the basement. He dropped down dramatically on the couch.

“Do you like him?” He didn’t hesitate. Hayden sat down a beside him, but left a space between them.

“I don’t know.” She sighed. She kept her eyes glued to the couch. Rob moved into the empty space and put his hand under her chin. He gently lift her to face him and kissed her.

“Okay.” He sighed. Hayden just stared at him.

“I can’t be mad because you don’t know how you feel. I’m not a monster.” He groaned. She nodded.

“I never thought you were.” She assured. Rob nodded slowly.

“I know. You stood by me.” He agreed. She also nodded slowly.

“Does that mean you’re going to stand by me?” She asked softly. Rob was quiet, then nodded.

“Of course I’ll stand by you. You’re my best friend. I promised you, that will always come first.” He assured. Hayden threw her arms around him and collapsed on top of him. He half-laughed.

“Easy.” He plead. Hayden pulled back, raising her eyebrow.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. Rob chuckled.

“I’ve been working out a lot. I’m just sore.” He assured. She threw herself back down on top of him. She adjusted so that she was straddling just above his waist. She leaned down and kissed him.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She whispered. He pulled her back down to his lips.

“I’ve missed you too.”